Inquiry Leadership

Inquiring leadership – The listening leader

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” – James 1:19 Holy Bible NIV

Definition: Listen: to pay attention to, to hear something with thoughtful attention: give consideration, to be alert to catch an expected sound  (Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary. Merriam-Webster, Inc., Springfield, MA, 2009)


Signs you aren’t listening well:

When speaking with colleagues, I finish his/her sentence

• I tend to interrupt others when they are speaking.
• In conversation, my attention often turns to my own thoughts
• I make quick judgments while listening.
• Let your Listening Speak that you value the other person and care what they have to say
• Let your listening teach you about others and help you understand them.

“Instead of listening to what is being said many managers are already listening to what they are about to say.” Anonymous

Listening SPEAKS 
does not say “I agree” -  Listening speaks I accept and respect your point of view

Levels of listening

• Level 1: The “me” level – how I relate to what is being said – “Oh me too I have done that too” – it’s natural – it’s where relationship begins – it’s where you find common ground to connect
• Level 2: Focused listening - curiosity – trying to understand the other person giving – full attention to the other person – out of yourself
• Level 3: Beyond the Content – “I can’t ever find anything to wear” – is there a bigger issue –
• Level 2 and Level 3 – where trust begins and depth resides in the relationship

Jesus and other wise men taught in Parables because it required you to listen beyond the content.

"If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes."   – Albert Einstein

Ask don’t Tell - Ask questions- 

80/20 rule applies: you should be listening 80% and talking 20% - Monitor yourself


Different types of questions:
Dream and Discovery questions: Considering what’s most important – what’s the vision and the values

                What are your top values? If it was your way how would that be?

• Reflection questions – lessons – takeaways – experience – history

What did you learn from that experience? As you reflect what thoughts come to mind? What is the real question to ask you?

• Probing questions – think more deeply about a situation – getting to the heart of a matter – weighing sides – use with caution (investigator)
  

What would you like to do in this situation? How did you arrive at that conclusion

• Commitment questions – what actions – goals – plans moving forward – what’s next- By when?
  

Guide them as a Tutor asking questions, who may know the answer or have an idea of the path to get to the solution


The frame holds the picture: How you frame a question is just as important as the question.

• Open vs. closed questions
  
• Open= many different possible answers – broadens and deepens thinking
  
• Closed = yes or no – can shut down thinking and dialogue

Where you listen? - Is it a safe space? Who’s in the room? Can them sharing be used against them later?

Body Language and Position – are you hovering over them vs on the same level

Show stoppers 

• Why questions? = puts people on the defensive –replace with “what” or “how”
• Suspend your judgment – curiosity vs. evaluation – you can’t mine for gold when you’re digging for dirt!
• Remember how God or others see them

Use this as a manner of which to lead when the situation is appropriate. It is importat to manage your responses to answers and be mindful of making judgments. It can cause the conversation to go sour and not lead to the outcomes that you desire. Also be mindful of this is not an attempt to suppress your opinion or ideas but rather a strategy to better understand the situation and help that person to come to a solution or idea. In many situations that person you are looking to help or engage will turn and ask you “What do you think?” be wise, be concise, be 20%.